Book Excerpts From 51+ Networking Mistakes by Bart Smith & Noa Schecter

PART 1– MISTAKES TO AVOID BEFORE YOU NETWORK

Remind Yourself “Why” You’re Networking

51+ Networking Mistakes Excerpt
Copyright © 2024 by Bart Smith
Reprinted by Permission

Get amped, jacked up, excited to network. If you’re like everyone else out there, you’re going out to network for some of the following reasons:

To find people you can help with your product/service or with a referral. We can’t help everyone, personally, but we can if we have our own group of people who we can refer you to for services.

To find people who can help you with your needs. If need resources, ask, “Do you know anyone who can _____? I’m looking for someone who can _____.”

To make new friends and more. You never know when meeting someone could turn into a new friendship, party/event invite, or something more meaningful even a ______! DATING/MARRIAGE! Hey, dating and marriage usually starts with two people meeting one another at some kind of event, right? That’s called networking with the ultimate return ... a life mate! Now, if you’re already married or not interested in dating, then networking is still a great opportunity for meeting new people.

PREPARE FOR THE EVENT

DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME walking into an event unprepared. Whether your goal is personal or business, plan ahead. Know the event that you are attending. Create a preparation CHECKLIST customized for your needs. On that list, you might expand upon such topics.

RESEARCH THE EVENT,
ORGANIZATION AND/OR
PEOPLE ASSOCIATED WITH
THE NETWORKING EVENT
BEFORE YOU ATTEND

Where are you going tonight? What’s the main theme for this event? Who’s hosting it? What’s the company about that’s sponsoring the event? These are great questions you’ll want answers for.

Get to know the answers to these questions PRIOR to attending the event. Don’t walk in and ask, “So, what’s this all about? Who’s putting this event on?” Be informed. Visit the website, eMail the host, do a little research. You know the drill. At a minimum, take 5-10 minutes and do this. It’ll pay off when you walk through the door excited to greet the host with a, “Hi, I read about this online and thought it was a great event to attend.” By researching the event, you might also learn what the dress code is, what kind of location/building/place you’re going to, where to park, local restaurants, etc. so you know what you can expect.

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BOOK EXCERPT #2

PART 1– MISTAKES TO AVOID BEFORE YOU NETWORK

What Is Your Outcome? Do You Have One?

51+ Networking Mistakes Excerpt
Copyright © 2024 by Bart Smith
Reprinted by Permission

Know what your expectations are. What do you want to get out of networking? Before you go to any type of an event, go with intention and not because you have nothing better to do, per se. Killing time is not going to help you move forward in life.

What’s more, others are going to think you’re not really interested in being there. Time is precious for all of us. Value your time (and others’). If you live near a big city where there are hundreds/thousands of events taking place, be selective. While your options are endless, time for networking with the right people to generate interest in your product or business, choose wisely.

So, before you go to a workshop or event, think hard about what your goals are for the event so you can maximize your presence there. Why is a particular event important to you?

✦ You might go to a certain event because there is a certain person there you want to meet. Don’t waste anyone’s time.

✦ Maybe there are people there who can add value to your business. For example, if you’re in real estate or you’re looking for investors, you might go golfing with a group of people. Specifically, go to place where people have the capacity to advance your goals.

✦ If you’re single and you’re looking to introduce yourself to other single people, then you are going to go to an event that has to do with single people.

✦ Target your efforts to a target market for whatever your needs are.

✦ If you’re promoting a product, it is good to go out and practice your pitch on others, share your success stories, learn what you should do/say and shouldn’t and then, branch out to the next event sharper and wiser than the last one; better prepared to meet new people whom you can introduce what it is that you do with greater precision and impact.

Before you go to an event, write down a small list of concrete, tangible goals: At least, have them in mind before you venture out.

“I am going to meet x-amount of
people, and plan to come away
with y-number of sales/leads.”

“When I go home, I want to have
an x-amount of business cards,
or have introduced x-number of
people to my product/service.”

Write out what you wish to get out of the event before you leave the house. Having your own personalized list of goals for why networking is important to you and what you want out of it will help manifest the exact results you want for all your efforts when attending. What’s more, have a goal for every event you go to. Be clear about your intentions and know the motivation behind attending the event.

With all that in mind, try attending at least one networking event once a week if possible. If you go two or three times a week, that’s even better. Again, just don’t go to make an appearance. Make an IMPACT by making sure the event is really for you. Be clear why you are attending the event, what you plan to get out of it (i.e., new clients, leads, sales, a date, new friends, new career ideas, a few new business cards, etc.).

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BOOK EXCERPT #3

PART 1– MISTAKES TO AVOID BEFORE YOU NETWORK

Before You Network “Checklist”

51+ Networking Mistakes Excerpt
Copyright © 2024 by Bart Smith
Reprinted by Permission

Were you able to create a workable checklist BEFORE you went networking? Was it pretty much on target? Well, to help keep you organized, on track and in line with our recommendations, here’s a quick checklist you might use every time you go networking. Review and check off what applies and customize or add to this list as you see fit.

Prepare For The Event

✦ Remind yourself “why” you’re networking in the first place (i.e., customers, clients, leads, investors, new friends, new career ideas, socializing, dating, etc.).

✦ What is your outcome? Do you have one?

✦ What are your goals for the event?

✦ Dress for success, dress up, and dress to kill.

✦ Rehearse what you will say. What are your best lines, elevator speech, statements to start and exit a conversation?

✦ Bring cash, not just a credit card, to the event.

✦ Prepare a means to accept monies if you happen to sell something at the event. If you happen to have your books (or other products with you) and someone asks, “How much is that?” They’re asking because they want to buy it right then and there. Be prepared with mobile payment methods, cash on hand for change, etc.

✦ What’s the parking like where you’re going? Read the signs and don’t park where NO parking allowed, etc

What To Bring To An Event

✦ Marketing materials (i.e., postcard, flyers, press releases, handouts, brochures, tri-folds, anything that tells people what you do so you don’t have to go into lengthy explanations.

✦ Means to collect money from sales you might make when people ask you, “How much is this?” Bring order forms, mobile apps for accepting payments, $50-100 cash for change. (i.e., $20’s, $10’s, $5’s, $1’s, etc.)

✦ Clipboard with name, eMail and phone number columns. Another column you might add would be OCCUPATION. Bringing this is so you can build your eMail list.

✦ Add your photo on your business cards or other marketing materials

✦ Check what kind of event you’re attending. Do a little homework in case you want to bring something special to a particular event.

✦ Bring extra clothing; keep it in the car, etc.

✦ Check yourself out (before you enter any event / room). Make sure you look your best.

✦ Sniff, sniff! How do you smell?

✦ Clean your car. No junk yards on wheels.

✦ Ladies, no messy purses.

Going To The Event

✦ Be on time (or not for all the right reasons). If you run late to the event, YOU look like someone special walking through the door because everyone else in the room met everyone and are bored and can't wait to meet you!

✦ Check your energy? Are you pumped, amped, and ready to shine like the sun when you walk in? All eyes are on you, remember! You’re a star networker.

✦ Make every first encounter count!

What else can you think of? Make note of it and make it happen. Now, let’s talk about what kinds of mistakes you should watch out for WHILE attending a networking event!

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BOOK EXCERPT #4

PART 2 – MISTAKES TO AVOID WHILE NETWORKING

What’s Your Main Purpose For Being There?

51+ Networking Mistakes Excerpt
Copyright © 2024 by Bart Smith
Reprinted by Permission

“It Ain’T About You!
It’s About Them!”

You may get a little nervous and overanxious before any networking event. After all, you’re about to meet a huge group of total strangers for the first time! For many people, they have a number of questions running through their mind before such an event, such as ...

Who will I meet? What will I say? Will they like me? Will I like them? Will I find the help I need? Will I find any business there for me? Can I be of any assistance to others and possibly get paid for it?

With all those great questions and concerns, there’s one important question that will answer all of your questions?

Every time we go networking, we think about one thing in particular ...

”How can I help the
people I meet?”

That one question sets everything else on the right course to bring ensure things go your way and in your favor ...

✦ Will they like me? WHO DOESN’T like someone who offers to help them. You will have instant fans from folks who you offer to help …”Will I find people who can help me?” Who doesn’t find people who can help them when you make an effort to be of service to them first? You know the old saying, “Help others get what they want, and they’ll help you get what you want.”

✦ Will I meet anyone I like there? By focusing on the other person’s needs more (80/20 rule), you get a front row seat into listening to everything the other person has to offer. By the end of that 5-10 minute conversation, you know everything you need to know to make a snap decision whether to go forward with the person or not. This is something you can’t do if you’re doing most of the talking.

✦ Will this event be worth my time? You’ll know with confidence if the event was worth it by how you turned everyone around to what you have to offer, which you did when you focused on others first. By asking questions, listening, cultivating more interest, filtering answers you receive from different people ... it’ll be natural for you to deduce, “Wow, this event turned out great! I scored a lot of new acquaintances, made some new friends, found a few new clients, got some great ideas for my own business, ...” Remember it is not about how many business cards you collect or the number of people in the room; it’s about the quality of your leads that are generated from the event.

To summarize the first mistake most people make -- People tend to talk too much about themselves or the way they present themselves isn’t structured, rehearsed, or prepared so they speak in random sentences, which is more reason why you need to take control of the conversation. You know what to do. Extract information from other people to find out if you can help them and ultimately they may be able to help you. Even if we can’t help someone, just by listening and showing genuine interest, you might make a new friend who would love to refer you to people he/she knows who may be inspired to hear what you have to say and potentially buy what you are selling right there on the spot!

Noa, has a good friend who always starts off his networking meetings by saying to everyone, “Be of service first. Ask people how you can help or support them.” We take that same approach to the maximum! The results? It’s always a win-win situation for everyone. Who doesn’t want that?

Don’t Wait To Build Your Network. Build It Now So It’s In Place When You Need It!

Today is not soon enough to start building your network when you need a group of people to rely on for referrals, repeat business, business ideas and/or recommendations on services and products to help you with your business. Don’t wait to build your network until you need it. Start now, manage it, and keep your contacts fresh and growing.

Get into the habit of calling people you haven’t heard from in awhile to maintain those contacts. Today, with Facebook and social media, it’s even easier for you to follow up with your friends and colleagues online and send a nice message to them periodically. Sending eCards to wish people a happy birthday, or even sending a card that requires a stamp can make a good impression. It means that you took time to write a note and you value the relationship. Maintain an up-to-date database of contacts and stay in touch.

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BOOK EXCERPT #5

PART 2 – MISTAKES TO AVOID WHILE NETWORKING

Be The First To Reach Out To People

51+ Networking Mistakes Excerpt
Copyright © 2024 by Bart Smith
Reprinted by Permission

You may not be the host of the next networking event, but there’s no reason why you can’t be the star by being the most accommodating person in the room reaching out to people who are struggling to meet others. While we all tend to be attracted to those people who are either the center of attention or appear successful, there are individual gems out there. All you have to do is meet them for the first time and everything else unravels nicely. So, be outgoing enough to make people feel welcomed. You might even be mistaken by some thinking that you’re the host. Not a bad mistake! Accept the compliment. We never know if that quiet person may know someone who can introduce you to someone you need to meet. It’s those quiet ones who can also open big doors into companies and opportunities you’ve been wanting to get into for a long time. Leave no stone unturned.

Be The First Person To Say, “Hey, What’s Your Name?"

Not initiating the “Hello, what’s your name?” actually wastes your time. With so many people in the room to meet, you can’t wait on people to come up to you. Approach them. Many people are shy and feel awkward meeting new people. Not YOU! You seize opportunities to meet new people. Take the initiative and make the first move. About 99% of the people will appreciate it. The other 1% are looking to do the same thing and meet you first. That’s okay. You can take this chance to try different opening lines. Start with a compliment or ask a question about the event. “So, have you tried anything from the buffet table yet? What looks good to you?” Start off the conversation as if you have already been talking to them for awhile. Try different approaches besides the suggested title of this tactic. You can do better than, “What’s your name?”

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BOOK EXCERPT #6

PART 2 – MISTAKES TO AVOID WHILE NETWORKING

Don’t Judge A Book Or A Person By Its Cover (Or By What The Person Looks Like)

51+ Networking Mistakes Excerpt
Copyright © 2024 by Bart Smith
Reprinted by Permission

This is a typical mistake people make. They think, “Oh, look how that person is dressed or how of how he/she is not working the room. I’m not sure I want to meet that person.” Little do you know that the person you don’t want to meet actually might turn out to be THE PERSON you DO want to meet! Throw away any judgmental or elitist attitudes and be open to meet anyone and everyone. Someone you haven’t even met yet may be one of your biggest fans and can refer you to an ideal prospect and introduce you to a whole new world you never would have known about had you not taken the time to disregard your prejudices and actually spend a few quality minutes talking to that person you misjudged.

Be Nice To Everyone!

You never know who is standing before you, behind you or next to you. Be gracious to everyone in the room. Everyone has a story. Everyone has life’s pressures, anxieties, triumphs and successes. Be generous with yourself to everyone. Again, that person you were kind to just might be the person who can help you along your journey to the next stage of your own success. People love helping others who are sincere and authentic.

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BOOK EXCERPT #7

PART 2 – MISTAKES TO AVOID WHILE NETWORKING

Talk Less / Listen More

51+ Networking Mistakes Excerpt
Copyright © 2024 by Bart Smith
Reprinted by Permission

Have you heard the saying? We were born with two ears and one mouth. Translated, it means don’t talk too much and listen more. Let the other person do most of the talking without interrupting. This will allow you time to think about what’s being said so you can reply with information and relative questions, which will make a knockout first impression. No one likes to be fire hosed to death with a non-stop spray of never ending words. Talk in sound bites and complete phrases that can be easily understood. Don’t talk over someone’s head and then pause in between providing ample openings for the other person to reply to what you said.

When you do talk, ask more questions versus making statements. Keep the focus on them. It’s perfect to keep the conversations to about 70/30. That is, 70% represents the other person input and 30% represents your response time with valid questions to stimulate the conversation.

We have been to many networking events and listened to networkers that talked nonstop while trying to convince you that they have the best product/service since sliced bread and maybe they do. Or, maybe they’re lonely and don’t get out much. This is your chance to channel the conversation and make it move in the direction that gives value to both sides. Most people’s brains can’t remember much about a conversation, let alone all the people they met at an event. Keep conversations interesting and productive leaving an opening to continue lengthy conversations later when time permits -- possibly at another scheduled time.

If you have products/services to sell, focus on outcomes, results, and the experiences of others. Stories sell! So, there’s no need to tell folks what you do if you can narrate in an entertaining and effective way. Tell stories about yourself and even better with a sense of humor. Maybe you can relate a success story that would appeal to the group and give them an idea of how you handle a certain situation. Just don’t overdo it.

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BOOK EXCERPT #8

PART 2 – MISTAKES TO AVOID WHILE NETWORKING

Maintain ‘A Little Mystery’ About Yourself When Talking To Others

51+ Networking Mistakes Excerpt
Copyright © 2024 by Bart Smith
Reprinted by Permission

Don’t give away the farm and tell everyone everything about you. Retain some element of mystery about yourself encouraging people to ask you more questions. Like dating, you don’t want to give everything away up front. Tease a little. Talk a little. Dance a little. Leave something to the imagination draw interest from other people.

Otherwise, if you tell them everything, they might say, “Okay, thanks for all that. I don’t have any questions for you. I have to go, Maybe, we can talk later.” Don’t count on it. Making people feel they want to know more for your products and services helps us to draw them closer to us.

By invoking some mystique in telling your story, they’re hooked. For example, many people today have few streams of income. We’ve been to events where people felt they needed to give you a full report on everything that was going on in their business right down to the bottom line.

Focus on one topic at a time. It’s not easy for people to engage in a dialogue when time is restricted. Save your other activities and interests for that important follow-up call where you will have more time to discuss various topics of mutual interest.

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BOOK EXCERPT #9

PART 3 – AFTER YOU GO NETWORKING

How’d You Do?

Now that the event is over and you’re back home from networking, now what? Well, here are a few things to do in order to maximize your most recent networking efforts and avoid making these mistakes following your networking event. Check this out!

How’d You Do?

Evaluate how you did at the networking event. What did you learn? What did you forget to say/bring? What did you say that was good/not good. Repeat/rehearse it for next time or remember to forget it. “Whoops, I won’t say/do that again.” Was the event fruitful. If you’re not getting what you want from the events you’re attending, start looking at other events for inspiration. You should be looking at all networking events as opportunities to find ways to help others. You’d be surprised how much more effective this shift in mindset can be.

What Did You Say That Rocked?

Yeah, what DID you say that you liked or got a glowing response. Write that down, seriously, before you forget. As you attend more networking events, continue to polish what you know will get those impressive responses. Pay attention to what you talked about that drew the most attention and got the best reactions.

What Did You Say That Tanked?

This one should be obvious! WHAT did you say to someone, about yourself, maybe something you said in response to what someone else said that was a definite no-no to use at the next event. “Yeah, I wish I could bite my tongue on that one ...”, or “... take that one back!” Hopefully you didn’t say something you need to apologize for because if you do, then don’t ignore this faux pas. A sincere apology may be in order.

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BOOK EXCERPT #10

PART 3 – AFTER YOU GO NETWORKING

Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind (Follow-Up Is Essential)

About 99% of people who say they’re interested in following up with you ... never do! So, YOU take the initiative, do the grown-up thing, and follow up because 99% of the time, the person you’re reaching out to will appreciate that you took the first step.

It usually takes 2-3 more communications for that new contact to become a new friend/contact. So, keep the momentum going after the event when people still remember who you are. If you wait too long, and you feel the other person has some hesitation in reaching out to you, again, you take that next step and make the call. Don’t let your own networking efforts go to waste and you reach out to them.

If you take notes on business cards or paper or in your phone about your conversations, it’ll be easy to call people in order to pick up from where you left off. Use the notes in order to create a personal message via eMail or voice mail if you don’t reach them. They’ll be impressed.

Some folks are great at getting back to people. They call people every 6 months or send them handwritten cards for holidays and birthdays. Again, people are impressed with follow ups and eventually will give them their business if there’s a match.

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BOOK EXCERPT #11

PART 3 – AFTER YOU GO NETWORKING

Maximize & Capitalize

So, you got some fresh leads from the event you just attended. Jump on them, follow-up promptly, and see them through to the end to where you turn those leads into sales! Create your own follow-up chart, especially if you met a number of people you want to follow-up with. Work your chart by calling people, leaving notes next to their name, such as LM (Left Message) or CB (Call Back) or WCM (Will Call Me).

If you happen to call their home or office and speak to someone other than the person you’re calling, be respectful. Qualify what you are calling about and how much you are looking forward to talking with the new contact that you made. You never know what the relationship is. You definitely want to hear a nice report about how you handled your call with them. “Yes, that was my wife that you spoke to. She really enjoyed the brief conversation you had about our products.”

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BOOK EXCERPT #12

CONCLUSION – LET’S SUM IT UP

Mistakes Happen. Can We Correct Them? You Bet!

Mistakes happen. Can we correct them? You bet. Will we repeat them? Maybe a few, from time to time. Who’s perfect? Your networking success can be based 100% on what you do before, during, and after every networking event. Now that you know this to be true, what are you going to do to make your networking efforts more productive and prosperous?

Here’s a list of the TOP 15 THINGS we developed based on our experiences in order to “sum it up” what we’ve learned about networking! Take control, take action, and win every time you go networking!

✦ Make a list of things you need to do before each event.

✦ Prepare yourself personally and emotionally for the event.

✦ Prepare any marketing materials/supplies you need to take to the event.

✦ What will be your outcome/goal for attending the event?

✦ Keep conversations short enough to be able to move around the room to meet other people.

✦ Ask more questions. Get the other person to talk more about themselves and not so much about you.

✦ Make notes in your phone, on paper or wherever you can about the conversations you’re having (or had) with those at the event so you don’t forget.

✦ Thank the host during the event.

✦ Set up 1-3 appointments during the event in order to contact those individuals after the event.

✦ Say goodbye one last time to those you meet at the event as you walk out the door to go home.

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