Read Book Excerpts From Watch Out Ladies by Bart Smith

Watch Out → For Naysayers

Watch Out Ladies Book Excerpt
Copyright © 2024 by Bart Smith
Reprinted by Permission

BE FOREWARNED you are very brave, courageous, even rebellious (in a good way) to consider reading this book and potentially following what you will read. Why? Because it has your best interest at heart in a world that doesn’t care so much about ...

your heart! I say this because there will be people, organizations, peers, institutions, friends, certain feminists, even some males who do not want you to follow what’s prescribed among these pages.

In fact, they will do everything they can to discredit what you will read, even to the extent of publicly bad-mouthing or even bullying you (or me) into dismissing any common sense advice that makes “good sense” to you from what this book has to offer. Why so? Because they have an agenda, plain and simple.

Watch Out Ladies: 15 Things Every Woman Should Be Concerned With & Watch Out For To Protect Her Heart, Her Body, Find Love & Avoid A Lifetime Of Loneliness by Bart Smith

Whether it’s political, financial, cultural, social, media/pop culture related, or just pure evil all around. Make no mistake about it, these people will lie to you, fabricate the truth, stretch your faith and try to make you cave under their pressures. You may fall prey to their bidding, financial gain, mind control, you name it. If you don’t believe me, just observe their behavior, tone and words.

Someone who does have your best interest at heart will say nothing (but praise) for what’s inside this book, move on and then let you be. Those with ill intentions will get upset, throw tantrums, display hostile like disapproval or disgust (against what’s good for you) publicly so you feel badly and cave to their B.S. It’s that simple. Besides, in a FREE COUNTRY, don’t you have a right to be good to yourself?

Don’t you have the right to do what you think is best for your mind, heart, body and soul? Or does someone want to steal your soul away? Uh, yeah, duh! Well, to heck with the naysayers, I say. Your LIFE, HEART and present/future MEMORIES are at stake. For example, if you ever hear some of the following statements, CONFIDENTLY IGNORE THEM and walk away:

✦ You can be promiscuous and have sex just like a man and be free of guilt, depression and/or life altering consequences. = That’s B.S.

✦ We’re all sexual creatures and can behave like animals if we feel like it. It’s about feelings and not logic! Gender is fluid. = That’s B.S.

✦ You have all the time in the world to get married. Pursue your career full-time until you’re 30-35 then settle down. = That’s B.S.

✦ Living together will help encourage him to marry me. = That’s B.S.

✦ “I’m female, perfect, entitled, young and beautiful. It’s the man who has to bend over backwards for me. I have a long checklist of criteria for him to meet if I’m going to be with him. I also don’t need to learn how to cook for him, my children, myself or bring anything to the relationship except my v*****.” = 100% GRADE “A” B.S.

Remember these are lies with the intentions of hurting your heart and present/future love life. They all lead to LONELINESS and heartache. Instead, (1) Focus on what’s important to YOU and for YOUR life and not anyone else’s. (2) Do the right thing. It pays dividends in the long run. (3) At the end of the day, you have to live with yourself and the decisions you made (good/bad). Nobody owns you or your mind. Only you can let them control you. DON’T! Those who approve of this book want what’s best for you. Side with them and pursue love forever.

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BOOK EXCERPT #2

Chapter 1

SEX: Too Soon & Too Much ... and without a ring!

Watch Out Ladies Book Excerpt
Copyright © 2024 by Bart Smith
Reprinted by Permission

Hey ladies, are you the type of woman to sleep around? You probably don’t sleep around, but I’m sure some of you have gone to bed “too soon” with a guy either on the first or second date or maybe within a week or two of meeting someone you liked physically or were attracted to. What’s the harm? That’s okay, right? Well, why did you sleep with him so quickly? Was it because:

1. You slept with him because you got caught up in the moment. Now that the moment’s gone, what are you left with? A memory? A longing to be with him? More than anything, you’re left with nothing, but a moment’s memory. Gone like the wind.

2. You slept with him because you were lonely. Did he stick around after the deed? Did you wind up lonely again because he never called you back or wanted to see you again? Did he start ghosting you after what you thought were close and intimate moments together? Probably. Most likely. No? Yeah?

3. You used sex for leverage or revenge or to rebound from your last bad relationship. Did that night of rebound sex cure your relationship blues? What you never saw coming was this new lingering memory on your mind that you can try, but not erase from your mind. No doubt, if you don’t want to spend time with that dude, you had revenge sex. What is he wants to see you again. Now, you have more new problems to deal with. You can just imagine, I’m sure.

4. You felt pressured. Doesn’t no mean no? Instead, you could have taken the heat, been a prude, only to wake up the next morning in your own bed (alone) and smiling because you didn’t do it. Sure he called you names, but sticks and stones, right? Names will never hurt you? Name-calling fades quickly and is light on the soul to bear. Sexual memories and the exchanging of fluids in an intimate night of passion do not fade so fast. It can take YEARS for them to be replaced by better episodes, hopefully, that include LOVE in the sexual equation.

5. You thought it could lead to a long-term relationship. How many of those one-night stand hook-ups ever result in one of those? Uh, none. Okay, maybe one. No? None? Okay, back to ZERO.

6. You thought sexual chemistry would translate into a stunning, wonderful and gorgeous personality. Little did you know, the man you physically merged with last night turned out to be a substance and/or woman abuser.

7. Believed you could have a no-strings-attached relationship (i.e., friends with benefits). How’d that turn out? You now want to see him on a regular basis, like boyfriend/girlfriend, and he doesn’t. He’s got another one-nighter lined up and doesn’t want to take your calls. How’s that make you feel?

8. You slept with him only hoping he would LOVE you and marry you eventually. You didn’t move in together, did you? You did? Oh, no! How’d that turn out? He said he’d marry you within six months. You’re on month four living together. Any plans made yet? How about a promise ring? No sign of either?

9. You thought you could keep him close to you, to get to know you, if you just let him have sex with you sooner than later. How’d that approach work? Men usually want sex to satisfy an immediate gratification or urge. If you want him for the long run, see if he’ll stick around without having sex too soon. Sure, kiss, pet, play, but no sex. Besides, after the deed is done, where does he go? Leave you to go back to his place (or you leave his place) or stick around (because you’re in a relationship headed towards something bigger/better for your finger? Which would you prefer?

10. You slept with him solely because he was HOT! That’s good enough, right? Maybe … NOT! Hot or not, sleeping with anyone too soon can cause YOU the same mental, emotional and physical repercussions whether you slept with someone or not. What happens AFTER the event is where the trouble starts … IF … he doesn’t stick around. Oh, but he was HOT. Yeah, sure. Tell that to your heart when it longs for his touch at night and he ain’t there. He’s with, uh, someone else tonight. Sounds like that HOT GUY just turned oh, so cold!!!

Have I missed any reason why you’d sleep with a man too soon? If so, you know what they are like and can do to your own inward reflection about why you shouldn’t have. Hindsight is 20/20. I know.

So, what do you think about this list? Can you relate to anything mentioned? Guys too can relate to many of them and are least guilty of perpetuating a few on to you, the gal. While it’s not easy to get over sleeping with someone who doesn’t return your phone call or ask for a next date or even show interest in starting a relationship with you, IT’S BEST to learn from this list, memorize it, live by it and never make these mistakes (about having sex too soon) again with any man.

What is the magic amount of time you should wait to have sex with someone? It depends. On what? For starters:

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BOOK EXCERPT #3

Chapter 2

Sex With Multiple Men ... and for too many years!

Watch Out Ladies Book Excerpt
Copyright © 2024 by Bart Smith
Reprinted by Permission

What about sleeping with too many men? Count how many men you’ve slept with. Is it under 5? More than 5? More than 10? Remember the expression “quality over quantity?” Think about that as you look back on your life and going forward into your future. As women reach their late 20s on into their 30s, the notion of quality starts to replace quantity of hot studs and bad boys. Problem ... Is it too late for you to find a quality good guy to accomplish your motherhood and matrimonial goals?

Heading into the future (STARTING NOW) with a new outlook on dating, your sex life, and marriage, some day, think QUALITY over QUANTITY. It’s like choosing LOVE over LUST. Spiritual feelings over falling for fleshly desires that only leave you feeling EMPTY. Look for LOVE in a man.

Look for a man who will LOVE you, stand by you, and even support you. I know, he’s hot and you want to jump him. Well, control yourself, for the sake of your heart tomorrow morning and the months that follow.

DOWNSIDES OF TOO MUCH SEX, WITH TOO MANY MEN & FOR TOO MANY YEARS

Despite what you might hear from sexual enthusiasts (i.e., corrupters of your mind/heart/soul) or read online about we’re all sexual creatures, have fun, go for it, you deserve it, your body is hot, nothing could go wrong, it’s just one night … All of that talk is pure B.S. Whether these deniers of reality want to come off as cool, hip, trendy, liberated, independent, powerful, strong, acting “man-like” or whatever type of B.S. they’re coming up with, in the end, you’re the one who will always get hurt the most. Not the guy. Although, guys do have feelings too and have their own issues to deal with when having sex with too many women as well. This book, though, is about you. So, let’s take a dive into the pool of REALITY and what can happen to you if you have too much sex with TOO MANY MEN.

GETTING HURT: When women have sex, they (can) fall in love with the man they’re with when maybe they shouldn’t BE WITH HIM in the first place! Are you married to him, dating him or did you find him sitting next to you at the bar last night? If you don’t know him, he could be a total loser, abuser, con man, ex-con, you name it. Get to know him first before you let him touch your pink surprise or rolling hills of bountiful joy. Another thing, you can’t put a condom on your heart to protect it from getting hurt. Try it. It won’t work. So, you have to be selective and careful who you sleep with.

BONDING BLUES: Sex is the glue that holds relationships together. After sex, while men are ready to get back to their day/night, women tend to want to cuddle. If you don’t have the relationship to start with, the glue (to bond) does you no good, but makes a mess all over the floor, table, counter, etc. THINK RELATIONSHIP FIRST, SEX SECOND. This way, the bond will be there along with the cuddling, because you’re in a relationship. Bond with someone you know will stick around. Get to know him first. Don’t set yourself up to bond with that body pillow again and again, because you had sex with too many men too soon and they all LEFT YOU because they weren’t in a relationship with you.

DISEASES: Sex with too many men opens the door to too many opportunities to contract some kind of sexually transmitted disease (STD). A friend of mine told me that a lot of the men she’s been dating recently turned out to be bisexual. You know what that means, right? Yep, gay sex brings those bareback diseases home to a vagina (or other holes). Did you know women are more susceptible to contracting sexually transmitted diseases than men? Great, all she needs is for that bi-guy to have 50+ sexual partners (in his lifetime; men love sex, remember) in order to catch something and then say, “Bi-Bi, (bye-bye) have a nice diseased life.” That’s just great. Trouble is? She wouldn’t even know it. When he/she eventually breaks up, she’s got a nice gift left behind from him that she can’t get rid of. You know many homosexuals do not tell others about their diseases even though there are laws on the books that tell them they are required to? Why so? For many evil reasons, they don’t tell. So? The woman gets screwed and not in the right way. Now, the guy doesn’t have to be bisexual to bring home diseases. If he sleeps around enough, he’s bound to pick up something as well. So, #1) get in a relationship first, #2) get tested, #3) then have sex. Waiting for the test results to come back can actually build up the fun to jump each other when you’re in the clear or the opposite will serve you both if you find out one (or both) of you does have something. Whew, a week’s worth (or more) of waiting saved one or both of you years of torment living with an STIs, in particular HIV/AIDS, human papillomavirus (HPV), syphilis, Chlamydia, cervical cancers and other diseases all due to risky sexual behaviors with multiple men, whether straight, bi or homosexual. The costs of STIs and these diseases are enormous, not just for women, but on society as a whole.

STALKERS: Not that men are going to stalk you physically for another roll in the hay, some might, but they will be thinking about you and the great time they had with you. To me, that’s mental stalking, because they weren’t invited back into your life to stay awhile. You might be trying to get them out of your mind, but they won’t and don’t want to in some cases. Then, one day, when they’re lonely, thirsty for some action, without a girlfriend/wife to relieve them, and they see you on some social media website, they just might reach out to you, again. They could even send you a text too, “Hey, what are you doing tonight? This weekend? I loved the time we spent together. Wanna meet up?” You know what they want. NOTE TO SELF: “If you didn’t have sex with them in the first place, you wouldn’t be experiencing these types of advances and unwanted contacts.” So, for the sake of minimizing future interactions with guys who only want one thing, don’t give it to them in the first place. Again, look for LOVE in a guy. Look for ROMANCE in a guy. Look for RELIABILITY in a guy. Go for those things first. Sex always comes with a relationship, for the most part. Don’t put the cart before the horse. Relationship first, sex second. Remember that. Live it. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. They don’t have to live with the guilt, ill feelings, heartache, pregnancy (with a bad dude) and pain you might feel after another wrong romp in the hay goes astray.

UNPLEASANT MEMORIES YOU CAN’T ERASE: Here’s one for you. I have a saying that goes like this, “You cannot reformat your brain like you can a computer hard drive.” You know what that means, right, to format a hard drive? It means to completely erase what’s on that drive so you can start over with a fresh, clean, new start. When you have sex with anyone, no matter how long ago it was, years can pass, and you’ll still remember little details about those sexual episodes of your life. What’s wrong with that? Well, when you finally do meet the love of your life, depending on how many men you slept with (either) you won’t be able to get them out of your mind or thoughts of the one for you will be clouded by memories of the sexual episodes of your past. Not that they will override your chosen one, but you get the idea. Just try minimizing the quantity you sleep with and go for quality. Specifically, as few as possible on up to when you meet THE ONE.

REPRODUCTIVE RISK FACTORS & FERTILITY DEMISE: How does not being able to have a baby 5-15 years down the road make you feel if you sleep around too much, with too many men, and for multiple years? It can happen. If the previous reasons to minimize a woman’s promiscuity didn’t move you, maybe this should. Studies have concluded, where reproductive health matters of women who have multiple sexual partners are concerned, women should not be sleeping around and should be more selective with whom they share a bed with; preferably, a husband, steady boyfriend, fiancé, etc. The more sexual partners you have, the greater your risk for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) like HIV/AIDS and other life-threatening conditions, such as prostate cancer, oral cancer and cervical cancer. Sounds good so far, right? NOT! Chlamydia and gonorrhea are preventable causes of pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) and infertility. If untreated, a certain percentage of women with Chlamydia go on to develop PID. Chlamydia can cause fallopian tube infection without any symptoms. YIKES! The silent killer of baby-making potential! PID and (silent) infection in the upper genital tract can also cause permanent damage to the fallopian tubes, uterus, and surrounding tissues, which all leads to infertility. GREAT! All that sexual fun over the years with multiple men and now you pay the price … you can’t have a baby! Even if the odds are 25-50% it won’t happen to you, would you really want to play Russian Roulette with your body like that? I wouldn’t and I’m a dude. And as a dude, I wouldn’t want to know my gal was sleeping around with 10+ men over the last 10-15 years of her life.

While I could come up with more DOWNSIDES to sleeping around with too many men and for too many years, are these good enough to take a second look at your love life and the decisions you’ll make going forward? I want you to WATCH OUT and, as best you can, save yourself for your one true love. Real quick, here’s a bonus. Did you know a woman’s body may incorporate DNA from the semen of casual sex partners? Hmm, how does that sit with you? What did they say about alcoholism and abuse running in the genes of some people’s families? Is that bad boy a drunk? Got rage issues? Do the math, ladies, and remove yourself away from these situations.

One quick story before we get into the UPSIDES of not sleeping around or even moving in with too many men … I was talking to a beautiful young lady, about 29 years old, who told me she just moved in with her boyfriend. I asked her if she’d live with other boyfriends before. She said, “Yes, two others.” I replied, “When will you stop giving these boys what they want (sex) and get a ring on that finger from one of them?” She stopped in her tracks and said, “I don’t know. You’re right.” I replied, “Think about it. You’re 29 now. For 10 years past you’ve been giving men what they want, what are you getting out of the exchange or is it a one-way arrangement? They win and you lose? Make this your last move-in situation (and marry him) or get out while you still can. Time is not on your side at 29. The next man you move in with should be your husband.” She got out of her car, gave me a hug and thanked me with a small tear in her eye. Who knows what the past 10 years of dating has been like for her. I must have struck a chord by something I said. Ladies, WATCH OUT for YOU! No one else will, except me, but I’m over here and you’re over there and all you have is this book (or audio) to be your friend/guide. That’s a great first step forward, I think.

UPSIDES TO HAVING LITTLE TO NO SEX & WITH FEWER MEN

SAFEGUARDING YOUR BABY-MAKING POTENTIAL/FERTILITY: This should be your #1 priority. You know why now based on the last (DOWNSIDES) section. Enough said here. Do the math and start making decisions that protect your baby-making potential. Stop sleeping around and for so long with too many men. The same goes for the pill and certain female contraceptives if taken for long periods of time (like 10+ years). Recent studies prove birth control can increase a woman’s risk of breast cancer by up to 38%, depending on how long she has taken the pill. The risk is associated with all forms of hormonal contraception, such as the pill, injections or IUDs, when compared with women who have NEVER used them. IDEA: Get off these if you can/choose, focus on finding your one true man, and keep yourself clean for makin’ your babies with him.

NO B.S. OR OTHER UNWANTED DRAMA IN YOUR LIFE: Another big plus to not sleeping around is you avoid all the drama and B.S. that’s associated with having sex with multiple men over the years.

NO GUILT, HEARTACHE, WORRY, STRESS, CONCERNS: No one likes guilt, heartache, worry, stress or concerns either. Stop having promiscuous/hook-up sex and you’ll rid yourself of these unhealthy emotions as well.

FOCUSED ENERGY, VITALITY AND CONCENTRATION: Without drama in your life, you acquire clear focus, unlimited energy and concentration to get done what needs to be done, whether it’s finishing school, kick-starting a new career or pushing your current one where you want him to go. You might not know this, but successful male athletes abstain from sex and masturbation during their training months right up to their event.

MORE RESPECT FOR YOURSELF & FUTURE HUSBAND: For many, there’s meaning and value in saving yourself (as best you can) for that special someone you eventually end up with. Nobody is perfect and we all love sex, at least most of us. Still, it is best to think QUALITY over QUANTITY and go for the quality guy with the most long-term value. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t give in to pressure. Rise to the occasion and show your true strength. NO! Feelings of rejection fade within 24-48 hours. Memories of doing whatever you did with him last forever. How many forevers will you have on your mind when you finally meet the man who walks you down the aisle? Those feelings fade and you don’t have the memories of seeing that person naked. There’s no obligation to call them or go back and see them or take their calls. You didn’t take it that far. Sleep with them, as in, FALL ASLEEP in each other’s arms. JUST DON’T DO IT! You’ll feel better about yourself in the morning.

Remember the scene in the movie, Don Juan Demarco, with Johnny Dep and Marlon Brando? There was a scene with Don Juan and his love, Doña Ana, on the beach. She asked him, “I will accept that I am not the first, if you will tell me with the same honesty. How many others have there been?” His response? “This would have been a very good time for me to lie! ... Including you, there have been ... exactly ... 1,502. I could see that this was a sum substantially greater than the one she had in mind, and not easy for her to assimilate. Try as she might.” (See this scene at TinyURL.com/donjuan1502)

Is that bad? Why is that not good? Well, when you do find the love of your life, who else is on your brain when you’re naked? Maybe, some of those other guys! Suppose you slept with 20 men in your life. How special will THE ONE be when you meet him if he finds out he’s #21 on your list of poles you’ve danced around. The same goes for guys. They’re not off the hook either. The fewer sexual partners for everyone the better.

MEN ACTUALLY START BEHAVING BETTER BECAUSE YOU DO: Ladies, in certain ways YOU really do control men’s behavior (more than they do) by #1) insisting they behave like gentlemen and #2) by acting more feminine and lady-like. If you don’t go that route and demand more from men (on a good behavior-level), then the reverse will unfold. When you lower your standards and act like the pigs men can be (i.e., smokin’, drinkin’, swearin’, sex all over the place, etc.), then guys will act like pigs too because YOU let them get away with it. When that happens, we all wind up in the mud and not lovin’ life.

With so many more upsides that I’m sure you can think of, make a list of them and read them every day. Try making a list of 10 good reasons to slow your sex life down some, focusing on your passions and finding LOVE.

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Chapter 4

Postponing Marriage & Motherhood Into Your 30’s/40’s

Watch Out Ladies Book Excerpt
Copyright © 2024 by Bart Smith
Reprinted by Permission

What’s wrong with postponing marriage into your 30s or 40s? Nothing. Millions of men and women get married in their 30s and do quite well. Let’s give credit where credit is due, but that’s them and not you.

What I want to do for you right now is to bring up 21 key items to take in BEFORE you approach your 30s/40s. If you’re in your 30s/40s, and if you read this list and agree 80% or more is true, then you just validated what I’m saying here for the younger generation of women to listen up carefully and take heed. We’re all in this together, and don’t worry, there’s HOPE FOR EVERYONE no matter your age if you want to find love and live happily ever after.

There’s someone out there for everyone. More on that later. Right now, to the list. What should women watch out for when entering their 30s/40s and STILL SINGLE?

1. Dating becomes more difficult in your 30s/40s. Your looks have changed, you might be under more pressure to get married so your attitude has shifted from relaxed (I have time) to stressed (time is running out). Guys don’t like to do anything under pressure unless they put that pressure on themselves to improve their game, status or success. This means, your problem is not their problem.

2. The pool of potential men/soul mates keeps getting smaller. Either they marry off, they’re divorced or going through one, still playing the field, dating women younger than you (and don’t want to give you the time of day), or they’re still playing video games and lovin’ it more than dealing with women and their needs.

3. When you meet a cute guy in his 30s/40s he’s often already married. It’s true. Some 25-30 year old female jumped at the chance when you didn’t and snagged him as hers. “Go find your own,” she says. “He’s mine.”

4. Men look at women in their 30s/40s as leftovers from a decade or more of sleeping around with other men. No way do they want to go near that snatch. Seriously. What kind of STIs or other problems have you picked up by then dating and sleeping around with too many men for too many years. Besides, if you couldn’t win his heart, why not? “Hmm, I’ll pass,” he says.

5. Men don’t want to marry a woman with baggage, just like women don’t want to marry a man who doesn’t have income. It gets very financial at this stage. If he has money, he’d rather date/marry someone who can make a fresh, clean start with him. Why would he want to pick up the tab for another guy who left you in the state you’re in. (i.e., 1-5 kids, etc.) Single moms are better off dating/remarrying single dads.

6. Some men are divorced in their 30s/40s and not ready to jump back into marriage, if at all. So again, the pool of prospective men to marry shrinks a little more.

7. Men view modern, independent, feminist women as women who don’t need them, are competitive, combative, not feminine enough, more masculine … and so? Bye. They go their own way having fun with their friends, hobbies and women who don’t compete against them or apply pressure to get married or have babies. They like those things to take their natural course. Date, get serious, propose, get married, have kids, grow old together. Something like that.

8. Ask yourself, do you want to be the last single person in your group of, now married, friends? Then, you better hurry and find your man before you are the last one in your circle of friends.

9. Now that you’re in your 30s/40s, NOW you see how having a conventional relationship and family is something you want. While it’s not too late, your pickings are getting slimmer. There’s hope. I cover how to attract and choose a man at the end of this book. Keep reading and learning!

10. Biology is real. What you think in your head about waiting or you have time or whatever is a LIE. You’ve been brainwashed into believing there will always be time to find the perfect man. Sorry to break it to you, but you don’t. Everyone’s looking to snag someone and men are getting snatched up left and right by pretty women who want to settle down, etc. So, start listening more to your body and less to that voice in your head. Also, listen to the voice that comes from your heart. You have to be quiet though, ask a question, and listen for a voice to come from the South (your heart) not the North (your head). Your head is “full of it” and always thinking in the moment for selfish pleasures. Your heart “needs filling,” and looks out for your best interests. That’s how you should navigate your life for a more positive outcome.

11. Men/women are different. Accept it. The majority of women CANNOT marry down in age. Men can. Accept it. What does that mean for you at 35/45/55? You’re going to have to marry someone your own age or older. Deal with it and act on it. Play your cards according to your gender and not his. Apples and oranges. Think for YOURself to survive.

12. You may know more about what you want, but that doesn’t mean you can be picky. Pickings are slimmer from 30-50 for women. As I say later in the book, ditch the list and go for my 3 C’s: COMPANY / CONVERSATION / COMPANIONSHIP. If you can give and receive those three things from/with a man, you’ve got yourself a winner. Anything related to what he wears or how in shape (or not) he is can be worked out together afterwards. Look for those 3 core values in addition to being responsible, has a good job/career, likes what he does, is liked by friends/family, doesn’t argue, etc. I’ve got THAT list for you at the end.

13. The illusion of infinite choice has now come to an end. That phrase, “someone better might be just around the corner,” NEVER COMES! Just look at your track record of 5-15 years of turning corners or waiting for someone better to come along. Let me tell you something, they don’t, or they WILL WHEN you’re already involved with someone. Your job in a relationship is to help improve someone to your liking while they help improve you. I don’t mean to say it like “improve” you, but being in a relationship should help each other become better people. Grow together. Improve one another together. Think of a relationship like going to work for a company. Do you start out with 15 years of experience helping to make them and you a big ol’ salary? No. You come with what you’ve got and improve yourself and the company over time. Same thing with relationships.

14. In your 20s, you scoffed at the idea of settling down. Don’t worry, millions do. You were having too much fun or chasing after that dream career. Now that you’re older, the fun is gone, friends are married and living their own lives and you’re all alone. Now what? Exactly. Keep reading.

15. In your 30s/40s, everything becomes more segregated. Couples hang out with couples, parents hang out with other parents, and eventually, you stop being invited to events, because why would you want to be hanging out with couples, parents, kids and babies when you’re single? This is the territory you’re now swimming in during your 30s/40s.

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BOOK EXCERPT #5

Chapter 5

Too Career Focused & For Too Long (The Pros & Cons)

Watch Out Ladies Book Excerpt
Copyright © 2024 by Bart Smith
Reprinted by Permission

First, let me say this, I do not want any woman to give up her passion or desire to pursue the kind of work that makes her happy or puts money in the bank to take care of herself. By all means, ladies, you go for it!

You should know, one of my biggest inspirations for why I work so hard in what I do is my MOM! After my mom divorced my dad, I watched her work several jobs, while raising two young kids (my sister and I were 5 and 6 years old in the 70s), while putting herself through night school to get her B.A. Wow, if she wasn’t a driven woman, I don’t know. So, I admire any woman who chooses to go down that road. “All power to ya!” Let me get out of your way. I’m proud of you. You’re an inspiration to us all to get off our can and work hard too! Thank you!

She willingly obliged and we took him from a 1.5 GPA to a 3.0 GPA in one year. My mom played the good cop and I happily played the bad cop, which was never needed. My nephew was a good kid. I think it was the environment I provided for him that helped him successfully shoot through the roof to a higher GPA and happy graduation experience.

That said, when it comes to a career, think of work like this:

1. Rarely does anyone have a career. Most people have JOBS that pay enough to cover the bills. You know what J.O.B. stands for right? It stands for Just Over Broke. Jobs come and go. We grow bored and want to leave for another one, especially if there’s more money involved. Not all companies like paying their employees more just because they’ve been there longer or acquired more skills/know-how on the job. Again, jobs become mundane and so does going out every weekend with your friends. “Really? Can’t we go somewhere different? We’ve been going to the same hangout for 5 years. Besides, I’m tired of spending $100 a weekend on booze and food. I’m getting fat!” Eventually, you want something beyond your job/career that is more satisfying and closer to home and your heart, which is? … A FAMILY you can call your own.

2. One income, as you can imagine, barely helps make ends meet when two really does the trick. Of course, we can thank our government and the FEDERAL RESERVE for allowing the dollar to lose so much of its purchasing power over the past 50+ years. Thanks, guys! NOT! Because the dollar buys less, you need more of it to just survive. Well, there are only so many hours in the day to earn more dollars. So? People pair up to help split expenses. (i.e., roommates, couples, etc.) Think ahead, and know if you changed/lost your job/career, you’d feel better knowing there was a second income coming into your household from your significant other to help cover most of your core expenses. His income pays for the essentials, while your income pays for any and all incidentals and/or emergency experiences that pop up from time to time because you saved your money well. Didn’t you? Let’s hope so.

3. Some men wonder if career-focused women have time for a family, let alone a relationship. We want to respect your wishes, but like many who think they can do it all, remember there’s only so much time in the day. What do you want more, a career or a relationship? Now, if your career is paying big bucks, absolutely, don’t chuck it quite yet. This is where a deep conversation with your future man comes into play. “Husband-to-be, you know my career pays a lot of money and I shouldn’t give it up right now. (He agrees). So, what can we do to spend more time together while I keep this job, save up a lot of money for us and then perhaps transition out of the job format into working more for myself at home …” Not that you have to transition, but whatever options you have, and you know what they are, perhaps discuss them with your future man. Options, options, options. Create them, weigh them, sleep on them and then act on them.

4. Women who tend to put off marriage and family until later, usually wind up regretting it. Again, most women don’t have careers, they have jobs. Jobs come and go. Families you create are yours forever. Prioritize what you really want in life. What would you say to yourself, at your age now, if you were 70 or 80 years old looking back on your life? What would you do/choose differently? THEN, ACT ON THOSE WISE WORDS WITHOUT HASTE!

5. If money is all you need, and you don’t care too much about having a job/career, per se, why not take your passion/hobby/interests and start a home-based business? With Internet eCommerce as huge as it is today, why not work from home and be with the kids? You could work part-time and still make a full-time income if you’re smart about it. You also get tax write-offs for doing so, unlike that crappy W2 job/career where the government takes upwards of 40% of your paycheck. How can you live on that? Yikes! Then, when you file, they challenge you on how you filled out your tax return, causing you extra worry and stress. (Ladies, learn about FairTax.org. Just go there and start educating yourself on how our tax system is a mess from the top down and keeping 100% of what you make is what the FairTax is all about.)

6. What you think now about your job/career potential, and it taking off a few years from now, typically turns out to be pie-in-the-sky thinking. Thinking you’ll be making more money, have more exposure to more prospects for love/marriage rarely, if ever, it happens. Ask those who’ve been doing what they have been in their jobs/careers for 5-10 years. If they’re still single, well, you have your answer. Those better prospects never came around. If they’re married, I bet 60+% of them settled for someone in the office or they met at an outing who was kind, nice, responsible, semi-good looking, made a move on them, they accepted, got to know them, took inventory of their age and time clocks, sealed the deal and got married! They settled for “Mr. He’ll Be A Good Father To MY Children” that I want to have. “I’ll take him!”

7. I don’t have to go into how the #MeToo movement is putting a damper on finding love in the office. You already know that, see that, have experienced that, right? Men don’t even want to associate with women anymore for fear of being accused of sexual harassment for merely smiling at a woman or bumping into her coming around a corner too fast in the office. Ladies, you’re in trouble NOW. You’ve got to help turn all this around. I talk about this in the upcoming Feminism chapter for ways and ideas on how you can help men and yourselves return to the fun state of mingling in the office like the days of old.

I could say more on the career thing, but I think you get the picture. No one wants you to give up your dreams, goals or aspirations for the kind of work or field of expertise you want to pursue if it brings you personal satisfaction to your life. Just know, it’s hard to do it all. Perhaps this advice is what you’d like to hear:

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BOOK EXCERPT #6

Chapter 11

Porn, Fapping, PMO, Sex Bots & No More (Quality) Sex For You!

Watch Out Ladies Book Excerpt
Copyright © 2024 by Bart Smith
Reprinted by Permission

I don’t know what else to say here except that porn is never good. Don’t take that statement lightly. Despite today’s so-called acceptance and all the hype and societal appeal, porn is damaging to your LOVE LIFE and your FUTURE with MEN! Sure, porn is stimulating, arousing, and exciting to watch, but at the end of the day, what’s really going on? What are you cashing in on? Who’s really winning and who’s really losing when it comes to porn?

WINNING = THE PORN INDUSTRY and those who run these websites, financially. They win in the cash department, but not in the award department for “doing good for society.” In fact, they’re damaging society in greater ways than they are helping themselves. Don’t let the first amendment argument fool you, either. Porn is not good for anybody, except those who make money.

LOSING = MEN AND WOMEN who work in porn, those who are trafficked into porn, men and women who watch porn and are addicted to porn, men and women who don’t watch porn but are dating or married to someone who watches porn and is addicted to porn. I think that says it all. Did I miss anyone? So far, that’s a lot of people not getting out of porn what they hoped they would. We’re talking about millions of men and women around the world. Instead of winning, they’re losing greatly. Let’s discuss.

To the point of this chapter, ladies, if you’re watching porn, you need to stop. If you’re dating or married to someone who is watching porn you need to get them to stop. If one of you, or both of you, is addicted to porn, you both need to stop and get help now.

Why so? Why the concern? What’s wrong with watching someone get naked alone or with others for a few minutes/hours a day, every day for years on end? What people do in their bedrooms is their business, right? Well, let’s get to the heart of the matter and it’s not good. Ladies, you should absolutely be terrified about the excessive use and addiction men have with Internet porn. Here’s why. For starters:

1. YOU are being replaced with porn if you didn’t know that already. REPLACED and erased from men’s minds. No dates, no sex, no weddings, no love, no nothing. Gone. Out of their minds for a long time, if not, forever.

2. You will never be able to compete with the constant influx of new naked bodies, new kinks, bountiful breasts, round buttocks and even more female (and male) bodies flashing on your man’s computer screen or his mobile device. If you think you can, you’re delusional and fooling yourself.

3. You will never be able to compete with the unending search for perfection (in his mind) and the ever-hotter sex objects appearing online every day. If you think you’re hot now, start WORRYING. In a few years when your looks and beauty are going to fade. Online porn images/video never do.

4. You will never be able to compete with his growing fetishes and fantasies to try out new things on you (and in you) and with your friends (or his) together in the same bed if he asks you one night, “Can you ask your friend to come over? I’ve had this fantasy about you both together doing it …”Or, “Can I stick my __ in your __ while I __ and you __?” Or, “What do you think about swinging with other couples?”

5. You’re human. You’re not a computer. You’re one person. You’re not a blonde, brunette, redhead, black, Hispanic, white and Asian female (or male) at the same time. Are you? Can you be? That’s impossible, but that’s his desire to have every night; a different woman from a different culture, for example, of which you are not.

6. You can’t be edited or cropped or only show your best angles when the lights are on. Oh, he likes the lights on, while you might like them off so not to show your marks, stubble, blemishes, belly pouch, veins, stretch marks or whatever it is that makes you a real woman and not a tanned, oiled up, lubed up, prancing around topless, bending over in a crotchless thong all day porn model ready and willing to do whatever it is without you feeling any pleasure; just him getting his rocks off … without you!

7. You probably aren’t sexy enough for him because of all that he’s been exposed to. He’s probably not aroused by (just) you anymore. He’s had so much stimuli go through his hand and brain that you’re just not enough. Sorry. He needs a little extra boost every time to get him going. How about porn in the bedroom while you make love, if you call that love. How about ____? Fill in the blank. Whatever you fill it in with, it’s probably not healthy for the two of you, especially, YOU.

8. You could be totally naked, walk right up to him, straddle him, put his hand on your wet cherry box and kiss him sensitively with your lips and tongue and still be … SECOND BEST!

9. You can never be viewed in ten positions at once and across multiple open browser tabs, windows or monitors at the same time. So, you’re lacking there, too. Sorry.

10. You can’t always be available on call when he has the urge to get off so he resorts to porn instead of you because you allow him to (or don’t know he does).

11. His computer/phone gets his love and sexual passion, thoughts and energy … not you! When you come home or meet him for your date, when it comes time to make love, you’re ready and hungry, but he’s satisfied and in recovery mode from having sex with his computer/phone. You’ll have to wait until tomorrow, or a few days or maybe next week if you can catch him horny in time before he takes care of himself … again without you.

12. Somehow, with all your passion, desire and fantasies to be with the man of your dreams and make love to him, you’re just not sexy enough. So? He rejects you and you’re left feeling you’ve lost your sex appeal. How’s that make you feel? Really, ask yourself.

I could go on, but how do you feel about these statements so far? Can you relate to any of them? Are you afraid you could relate to any of them? Have you experienced any of these feelings before? If you can relate to what I’ve mentioned, or you have other experiences with porn that affect your love life in a not-so-positive way, you should be worried about what porn is doing to your love life. Get selfish here for a minute, because porn is ERASING IT! Porn erases your potential to have a healthy, normal sex life with the man you want to love. Don’t believe me?

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BOOK EXCERPT #7

What About Sex Bots & Sex Bot Brothels?

Watch Out Ladies Book Excerpt
Copyright © 2024 by Bart Smith
Reprinted by Permission

Okay, if you thought porn was bad, you haven’t seen anything yet. I’ve asked people if they know what sex bots are and to my surprise, many of them don’t. So, I explain what they are, which I’ll do for you now. Sex robots or sexbots are “robot sex dolls” that are built to serve the sexual needs of men and women. Yes, there are sex bots made for women’s pleasure, too. But, for your sake, this section is focused on men and them not giving you their attention, sexually speaking.

Now, while fully functioning sex robots don’t exist YET, the technology is advancing faster than we can imagine. Know this, sex dolls are big business and manufacturers are claiming their dolls are so realistic that people are not only preferring them over real humans, they’re actually MARRYING them! Seriously.

Ladies, this is very scary for you. You are about to be ERASED AGAIN from the lives of men if you don’t act on what is talked about particularly in this section.

WHY SHOULD YOU BE SCARED OF SEXBOTS?

For these reasons and more:

1. Men are simple creatures that don’t like a lot of small talk and communication. If sex is on their mind and that’s all they want from a woman (i.e., you know, a quick fix), well, they’ll get it (sex) from a sexbot and not have to talk to her before, during or after making love to a machine. Talk about “Wham, bam, thank you, bot!”

2. Even though sexbots cost between $5,000 and $25,000, that’s cheaper than a girlfriend, wife, ex-wife, ex-wives over the long haul. With optional payment plans, sexbots are actually quite affordable. In fact, when they allow you to rent one for a weekend, well, it’s over and you won’t be invited, or maybe you will! Great, right? Uh, no.

3. Like hookers, men don’t pay them (just) for the sex. They pay them to “go away” after sex. So, like a hooker, sexbots go back into the closet after services are rendered. If variety is the spice of life, a man could have sex with several different sexbots of different hair colors, shapes, breast/butt size, skin color and none of them would say boo about it. Just, “How would you like me tonight? Would you like your other sexbots to join us in our own menage a trois? I’m up for it if you are.” I’m sure the sexbot can be programmed to say its owner’s name when faking her orgasm, too. Don’t forget about friends swapping sex bots.

4. Sexbots don’t nag, they’re not insecure, and they don’t cost anything more than the unit itself. There’s no shopping for expensive items or cars or a home to maintain to keep her happy. No, the closet is fine for her after the deed is done.

5. You don’t need to take a sexbot out on the town, which works great for so many men today who never could get a date to begin with and continually get shot down for being too nice. So, he saves money and gets company at home with a beautiful sexbot of his choice, size and color!

6. If sexbots are too expensive, visiting a future sexbot brothel might not be. Plus, you’re not having sex with a real human, which means? There’s virtually no guilt. Which means? The men will keep going back for more and more. Which means? No sexbot will ever get pregnant. Which means? He’ll keep going back to her again and again. It will be extremely hard for any women to be able to compete with a sexbot when his sexual needs have been so fulfilled he really doesn’t need you anymore.

7. Sexbots never, ever, gain weight, lose their figure, get wrinkles, grow old or show signs of grey hair. They’re always hot, always thin, always in shape, they’re always naked underneath that thin piece of clothing and always ready for action even when she’s just sitting next to him on the couch naked. He loves that. Are you willing to do this?

Ladies, I’m just checking in, but how are you feeling about sexbots having read what’s coming next? There’s no stopping this unless you help put an end to what I’m going to discuss in the next chapter on feminism or the remainder of this book, for that matter.

Granted, it’s natural for us to imagine robots helping us with many things in life going into the future. Imagine every household having their own robot to cook, clean, do laundry, etc. Oh, the things women used to do and still do, but if a robot can do those things, then what does a man need a woman around for? Sex? Oh, the sexbot takes care of that, too. Company? Men are solo creatures by nature. They thrive on being alone and on their own far better than women like to be alone; especially, as they (women) get older.

Can women have a male sexbot? Sure, but they’ll be more expensive and complex to build. Why? Well, a woman’s needs are greater. Sexually, the position the male robot must be in is far different than a female sexbot that just lays there on her back or on her knees or leaning over on a table or in the shower, while the man does most of the work. Male robots might need to be able to carry on a conversation and listen to everything she says and then respond. I’m sure at some point, you can imagine what the male robots will be thinking about as they gain artificial intelligence, right? “WHERE’S THE ESCAPE DOOR! LET ME OUTTA HERE!” I can see those male robots running away eventually, can’t you? “This is too much work, dealing with a woman, even for a robot! I’m going my own robot way!”

If you don’t think this can happen, or you think companionship is something men desire like you do, then you haven’t been paying attention to what’s going on in Japan. There, men and women are totally losing interest in each other. What’s so wrong with that trend, you might ask? Well, to put it simply, men and women aren’t making babies in order to support the aging population of elderly with their taxes. Hence, the elderly become a burden to society, and the government then enacts laws allowing genocide versus health care or surgery to prolong life or live happy lives with their grandchildren … oh … there are none of those because men and women aren’t making babies! I’m exaggerating to make my point, which I think you’re grasping by now? We’re (all) in trouble, ladies.

Surprisingly, you can thank feminism for pushing men faster into dating and having sex with these sex machines. Why? Well, with all the sociopathic, man-hating feminists we see every day on TV, in the news, on campuses and in the workplace, it’s no surprise men are turning away from interacting with humans and prefer to substitute them for something they already love and spend countless hours with … COMPUTERS! GAMES! FANTASY! … and now, SEXBOTS! Heck, why not!

The constant whining and made-to-feel-guilty toxic masculinity, manspreading, mansplaining, bogus gender pay gap and false campus rape charges are all causing men to rethink, “Is interacting with women something I really want? If all I need from them is sex, then why not save up my money and buy a sexbot? It’s not illegal like prostitution, and it’s not immoral because I’m not taking advantage of a women. I could save up to buy a new one each year. In a couple of years, I could have 5-10 sexbots in my home satisfying my every sexual desire? Wow, my own harem! I love it. Count me in. Sign me up. I’m ready to boink my first bot!”

So, ladies, think about this, if relations between the sexes were better today, and feminism wasn’t so nasty pushing men away from you, there probably wouldn’t be such a demand for these fake sexbots that look and feel like a real women, right?

If you agree, then you’ve got your work cut out for you in helping to bring men back into the picture and into your love life the way it was meant to be. Starting with? You being nicer to men and giving them a chance. If you don’t agree with that, well, then your life is your own and you are then on your own to live it … with or without … a pet!

Which leads me to my last comment regarding this sex-shun about porn, fapping, P.M.O., sexbots and NO MORE SEX FOR YOU world we live in! That is, if you shun men away, there will be no more sex for you. If you think a dildo will satisfy you, or your fingers will reach far down in that awkward position, which by the way removes 50% of your joy, because you’re doing the work and not him, or sex with another woman and that cold plastic strap-on belt designed to reenact what a man was born with to give you every now and then appeals to you, well, you’re in for a long cold winter … for years to come.

You better come to grips soon with the fact that you might not ever get any more sex again and for the rest of your life. The good news? No STD’s! The bad news? No children. Oh sure, you could test-tube your way to making a baby, but I discuss that in an upcoming section. It’s not the best option for you or your child (especially if it’s a boy) and it is certainly NOT CHEAP.

What is cheap, and I mean low to no expense, is being kind. What is free is being honest and sincere. What is in your best interest is in rejecting feminism (not men) and the attitudes it espouses, understanding the powerful addiction porn has on men (and women) and how the behaviors and attitudes of women today are driving men away from you.

Everything “against men” should be shunned and rejected by you so you can have sex with a real man in the confines of a healthy, normal relationship, which eventually leads to . . . having children with what we all know and you want ... a husband!

With that said, I can only imagine what’s going through your mind right now. I trust you will share your opinions with me. Contact me at WatchOutLadies.com and tell me how you’re feeling so far about the book and the messages I’m sharing with you.

Having said all that I have so far in this book, I’d like to think I don’t have a horse in this race, because I’m not a woman, but in some ways that are important to me, even as a man, I do. Hence, why I’m writing this book. First, our country as a whole, society, for women and for men and all our futures.

Our country, our world, my friends, yours and mine, our families, the futures of, we’re all in this together and to some extent, someone and/or some group, country, foreign government, socialist/Marxist ideologically-driven, unelected, behind-the-curtain organization(s) don’t want us to win. You do know that, right?

Who is it? Why don’t they want men and women to win together? Why don’t they cherish and promote love, romance, healthy sexual relations and having lots of children? Why all the destructive and divisive attitudes? How come Feminism, for all its supposedly good intentions, doesn’t promote these things? How come it’s about power and independence (from men) and not happiness and fulfillment (with men). How come feminism is more about control and not choice of free will? Is feminism really a wolf in sheep’s clothing?

Well, it’s no secret, the stats are out. Women’s happiness is at an ALL TIME LOW despite all the advances in career, income, positions up the ladder of life, job, politics, education, graduation, etc. WHY? Has feminism FAILED WOMEN? I think so. The facts of life say so. Their lack of real happiness and life fulfillment say so. Men say so. Women? Well, you just might be the last group to get on the bus to leave Feminism behind. It’s not serving you like they proclaim. Let’s discuss why and how you can reject Feminism to save your love life if you even have or want one to begin with. I know men do. You do too, right? Say, “Yes!” There you go!

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BOOK EXCERPT #8

Chapter 13

Artificial Baby Making & Freezing Your Eggs (Pros/Cons/Cost)

Many women dream of having children some day, maybe after they get their college education out of the way and their careers are in high gear. Well, as the age of a woman’s first pregnancy continually climbs up the ladder of time, and remaining single into her late 20s and 30s, many women are looking for ways to safeguard their fertility by freezing their eggs. Perhaps, if one day they can’t find a man in time, they can dip into the freezer, pull out their eggs, make a baby and live happily ever after ... as a self-made single mom. Uh, right. Well, let’s get into this and see if this is a road worth going down or not?

DISCLAIMER: First, let it be known that I am NOT a doctor! I’m an author and a chocolate chip cookie baker. (BartsCookies.com) I do not know much about this topic well enough to pontificate because I’m not a woman either. I do not have any eggs to freeze, BUT unless this is your profession or you’ve done this already, many women, including myself (representing the men) are clueless on this topic just as much as I am. So, my aim here is to perform a little research for you to help stimulate your mind into examining the pros, cons and costs for freezing your eggs. Sound fair? You can then take this information to heart and do with it as you will. Personally, after reviewing the pros, cons and costs, it seems better to just find a man to do the deed with and start your family sooner than later. But, I know that isn’t always possible. So, let’s take a look at this topic and see what we’ve got.

AGE, CONCEPTION, YOUR EGGS & GIVING BIRTH

Age is the most important factor that affects a woman’s chance to conceive and give birth to a healthy child. When women age, their fertility declines. A woman’s fertility will start to decline when she reaches 30 with the decline speeding up after 35. At age 40, women only have a 5% chance of becoming pregnant in any one month. For the record, men aren’t off the hook. Male fertility starts to decline after 40 when sperm quality decreases. This means it will take longer for his female partner to conceive and when she does, there is still the risk of miscarriage.

HOW DOES EGG FREEZING WORK?

In order to retrieve eggs for freezing, a woman has to undergo the same hormone injection process as in-vitro fertilization. The only difference is that following egg retrieval, they are then frozen for a longer period of time before they are thawed, fertilized and then transferred to the uterus as embryos to carry out a normal pregnancy. Once frozen, embryos can remain viable for many years with cases of live birth resulting as long as 15 years after freezing. Amazing!

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST TO FREEZE YOUR EGGS?

It can cost roughly $10,000 to harvest eggs from a woman’s ovaries, but only after a woman has taken medications for several weeks to months to stimulate egg production. Then the eggs are frozen and stored at an estimated cost of $500 per year. Each time eggs are thawed, fertilized and transferred to the uterus with IVF, it can cost about $5,000. Typically, egg freezing is not covered by insurance, but paid by the woman herself. So check with your carrier to see if they would cover this for you. You never know. Times change.

SIDE EFFECTS FROM IMPLANTING FROZEN EGGS

as with any medical procedure, there can be side effects associated with freezing eggs, nothing too major, but some might include nausea, mild abdominal pain, weight gain, vomiting, shortness of breath, bloating and diarrhea. It’s also possible to develop a more severe form of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome that might cause fluid to build up in your abdomen. Egg retrieval procedures have complications, but, again, nothing too serious.

WHEN IS THE BEST AGE TO FREEZE YOUR EGGS?

If you plan to freeze your eggs, and cost is not a problem, the earlier the better. Any time before the age of 35 is best. After 35, egg freezing can be linked to the same risks as getting pregnant after 35 including higher odds of miscarriage, preeclampsia, congenital abnormalities, high blood pressure and cesarean section. I’m not a woman, but I’d freeze my eggs at 20-25 years of age if I could. See if mom/dad will pay for it.

WHAT ARE THE CONS TO FREEZING YOUR EGGS?

Consider the fact that you might be 5-15 years older by the time you’re ready to use your frozen eggs. You will need to consider whether your body, specifically your pelvic organs, will be healthy and strong enough to carry a pregnancy at that later age. What’s more, the success of your pregnancy also depends on the health of the contributing sperm. Who is it? How old is he? 40+? Also, just because the egg-freezing technology is there and results can be promising, there isn’t enough data, decades of experience, stats and results to fully understand or determine how any woman’s eggs will function after being thawed. So, think about all that. I’d want to know that.

IS EGG FREEZING RIGHT FOR YOU?

It depends. What’s going on in your life that you think you need to have this done? Are you busy with your career or can’t find the right man soon enough so you think this might be a good option for you? It can be. Is it affordable, though? Are you undergoing some other treatment such as surgery, cancer, etc. that threatens your ability to have children in the future? There are many good reasons to freeze your eggs provided you can afford it.

QUESTIONS FOR YOUR DOCTOR

The next step, if you are thinking about doing this, see your doctor and ask him/her a few questions while doing your own research online. Here are a few questions you might ask of your doctor: Am I a good candidate for egg freezing? How many eggs should I freeze? How long will the eggs remain frozen? What are the success rates you’ve seen? Can my eggs be negatively affected by the freezing process? What are the risks that you’ve seen? How much does it cost? Will my insurance cover egg freezing? Can you check? After asking questions like these, I think you’ll be able to make a sound decision as to whether freezing your eggs is something for you.

SUGGESTIONS & MORE INFORMATION

I hope I’ve done well here to provide you with some basic information about freezing your eggs. It is exciting to even think we have this kind of technology to begin with. The flip side, as always, are the unknowns, the what-if’s, etc. Just as there are concerns with freezing your eggs, the next round of concerns might be ... are you doing this alone? Are you married when you’re having this procedure done? Are you dating someone? Are you single and still alone and want a child in the future? Only you know the answers to those questions when you make the decision to freeze your eggs or thaw them out because it’s time to have your baby. As I’ve said before, anytime a baby is born, it is a time to celebrate. That life now has a future filled with endless potential and possibility. In advance, “Congratulations!”

HAVING A BABY ON YOUR OWN & WITHOUT A MAN AROUND

In this last section, I only want to bring to your attention the story of someone who wanted a child, couldn’t find a man to have it with, decided to have the baby on her own, and, well, here’s her story and what she experienced:

1. It was a healthy birth! She was the mother of a new baby boy.

2. She was alone, though; no man or family nearby to help out.

3. She began to feel the stresses of having a child on her own and without the extra help that typically came with having a husband to share the joys and duties of raising a child together.

4. Some of the emotions she experienced when she was single and living alone didn’t end even after the baby arrived. She thought a baby would cure most of them. While being a mother created a new fascination with life, what was still missing was the man in her life to serve her needs as a woman and to be a father to her child. She still felt alone, scared, stressed, and with a baby now on board, her daily routine was packed with even more to do ... alone!

While I think the desire to have a baby, while single or with someone you’re married to is great, I think it’s important to keep in mind the realities of what it really takes to raise children on your own. My mom did it; many moms have. Is it easy? No. Rewarding? Yes. Should you wait and put more time, energy and focus into finding a suitable man to father your child? Absolutely.

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BOOK EXCERPT #9

Who Is That Perfect Man You Chase, But Never Get For Yourself? The Truth … Revealed!

THAT PERFECT MAN you chase is really nothing more than a mirage in the desert, which you will never reach. Perfect men are sought after by millions of women that can lead to ego inflation and cheating after he settles down with one of them, for the time being. He likes the adoration so much he misses it and may have a hard time giving it up. So what’s the harm having a few mistresses on the side? You’re all right with that, right? Uh, NOT!

Perfect men have their own set of perfect expectations of you that you may or may not be able to live up to. So, what happens? He eventually files for divorce and cheats on you during the proceedings; all because you lost your perfect luster.

Perfect men with exciting lifestyles may also have heavy responsibilities (i.e., jobs) to support those lifestyles. That means they’re not at home as much as the average guy would be home for you and your family to take care of the needs that happen on a daily basis. No, the perfect man is away traveling the country/world for work, visiting his mistresses in different cities or calling escort services for fun and games behind your back. He says it’s hard to come home during those 80-hour weeks, so he just talks to you on the phone and then hangs up to get back to whatever he was doing … far away from you.

As they say, the higher up the ladder (of success) they climb the farther and harder they fall. Some people don’t recover after such a long fall. If you get used to a certain lifestyle and then lose it, how are you going to get it back? You risk losing friends, moving out of neighborhoods, unable to be seen at those expensive clubs you used to belong to and more. By that time you probably have kids and your figure isn’t what it used to be. Finding a replacement for him might be hard to do if not impossible.

You may not know this, but any rich man probably knows how to hide/protect his assets from you should there be a divorce. I’m not talking about a prenup. I’m talking about corporations, trusts, associations, nonprofits, etc. The legal entities that can hold his money and assets without his name being attached to them means you get nothing when the divorce is final because he never owned anything to begin with. The rich know how to control wealth without owning it. That’s how they stay protected.

So, marrying into wealth and then maybe one day getting a divorce thinking you’re going to get some kind of big payout if the man is sharp could have prevented that before it even happened. For you to even think that way (i.e., big pay out if you initiate a divorce, which 70% of women do) means he’s justified to think his way (i.e., personal asset protection) with regard to protecting what he has earned before he met you. Perfect men can also be perfect frauds. They look good on the outside, but on the inside they’re rotten to the core or they’re hardened, personally and/or spiritually. I’ve met a few very rich men in my life only to find them to be extremely boring, controlling, arrogant, no fun, etc. The average dude out there (who doesn’t have that kind of wealth) knows how to have fun every weekend and wants you to join him.

If living a certain lifestyle is what you seek, maybe it’s better to find a man whose potential can take you there. Working together on that journey, you will have really earned your right to any monies should there be a divorce. (Let’s hope not, right?) What’s more important is that there is a sense of humility and appreciation for the hard work you both put into creating your wealth together.

The lesson here is, don’t judge a book by its cover. You want to grow old with somebody decent, kind, and loving, and before you are/look old. Change your priorities before it’s too late. Save your looks (while you’re young) for that ONE GUY who will commit his life to you and make you happy with your combined potential for fortune!

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BOOK EXCERPT #10

Qualities Of The Perfect Man For You, Ladies!

Here’s a quick list of what the PERFECT GUY is for you, ladies. The perfect man you want in your life has these 10 qualities. Look for these and bypass all the rest. Those other qualities you thought were important (i.e., car, money, possessions, prestige, excitement, etc.) can be acquired within time. What you need now is a man who has these qualities:

1. HE IS HARD WORKING and passionate about his job, career, and/or business or FINDING ONE! No bums or video gaming couch potatoes allowed in your life, of course. What’s more, he is FRUGAL and doesn’t squander his/your hard-earned money on anything that doesn’t have a positive return to you, himself or the family as a whole.

2. He is a FAITHFUL HUSBAND (to be) who will never forget the day he took your hand and said, “I do,” at the altar. From that day forward, he is committed to making you happy for LIFE! Until that day, he wants to marry you.

3. He is a LOVING FATHER to your children. “Mommy, I love Daddy. He’s the greatest Dad I could ever have!” He wants to have kids with you. He sees your unborn children in your eyes when you make love together. He wants to start a family.

4. He LISTENS to you with all his time and attention when you’re feeling sad/down. This is very important. Is he observant? “Honey, are you okay? Wanna talk about it? C’mon, let’s sit down. Tell me what’s wrong. How can I help?” That’s a great guy, gals!

5. He is PATIENT, CALM and never rushes to judgment or anger. A man who controls his own tongue and temper can help maintain harmony in the house, always.

6. He is FUNNY and CUTE in special ways you discover in time. A man with a good sense of humor will make you laugh when you’re having the worst day ever. When you’re feeling down and out, thinking back on something he said or did puts a smile on your face every time.

7. He LOVES (AND IS LIKED BY) OTHER PEOPLE and goes out of his way to be kind to them. His respect extends to your family and friends.

8. He CONFIDES IN YOU before making decisions that not only affect him, but you and your family. Making decisions together is something he loves to do because it gives him a chance to spend time with you and involve you in his life.

9. He is always THERE FOR YOU in ways no man has ever been there for you before. He has your back. He’s there to be your rock. He’s there to protect you and be that strong person TO LEARN on. He treats you like no man has ever treated you before, either. He stands behind you, he inspires you to go after your dreams and is there to help you celebrate when you cross that finish line and every one thereafter. This man is one of a kind. He is your perfect guy!

10. HE IS/MIGHT BE/WANTS TO BE GREAT IN BED. I say it like that because not everyone is born to be a great lover, but if they try, learn and with practice (do help him), anyone can turn up the heat of passion and learn to ravage you like a tiger in the heat of the night a few nights per week. Heck, give him my book, Laws Of The Bedroom. It’s the only book he’ll ever have to read on this subject. Read it yourself (or with him) and act out on so many of my suggested LAWS! PASSION ... a must in any relationship.

What qualities come to your mind when you think about HOW you would like the PERFECT MAN to #1) TREAT YOU and #2) MAKE YOU FEEL? Forget about looks and what kind of car he drives or line of work he does. Cars get parked in the garage at night (can’t see it) and hopefully the work stays at work, while your home remains a fun playground for relaxation and rejuvenation for the two of you and your (future) family.

At the end of the day, one of the greatest things you could ever want (and get) from the perfect man before falling asleep together are: HUGS, KISSES and CONVERSATION (in bed). Don’t tell me, if you had those things every night you’d still be waiting around for (your imaginary) MR. PERFECT who doesn’t exist? Did you know 80+% of men are capable of giving you hugs, kisses and conversation every night before bed? That means there are a lot of potential candidates out there for you to choose from. “Where did all the good men go?” They’re all around you! Give them the time of day and start talking to them.

Only time, effort and energy invested in any one man will ever generate Mr. Perfect. If you agree with the TOP 10 TRAITS to look for in a guy, I bet you WON’T be single for long.

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